cats vs. dogs

as anyone who has seen my coffee table book, "all about me," knows (or anyone who has ever heard me talk about my cat or seen me with about any cat), i like kitty cats. a lot. and i REALLY like my cat, lulu. she's a fat bitch, but she's got spunk and i totally fawn over her like the princess she is. moving on.

so i'm a bit of a cat lady (put down the animal-control phones though; i've set a lifelong limit for two at a time). and there's no question that i prefer cats to dogs. i mean, i LIKE dogs. i do! they're cute, and fun, and loyal... but they're needy little beggars who demand semi-frequent attention, and they always make me feel like i need to wash my hands after petting them, and they smell sometimes and slobber and, no, i don't want to play tug or fetch with you right now, you hairy stinky beastmonster.

nonetheless, when my friend sara asked me to dog-sit her pupper louie for a few days, i didn't hesitate: princess lulu had actually managed to acclimate to another living creature (which is, trust me, a major accomplishment. i'm still working on lowering her level of hatred for my 1 year old niece from "danger alert 45" to "reproachful indifference"); the dog knew and liked me (sara and i also work together and have a dog-friendly office, so louie and i are pals); and i've actually had a bit of dog experience that i knew i could rely on (aka poorly raising an ex's puppy, hiding a shitzu for a month and flying it from chicago to los angeles to be adopted in a warmer climate).

so i'm 24 hours in, and i've come to this conclusion: cats and dogs are so different.

ok, that's not a newsflash, but there have been some very interesting power dynamics here at play, and i think i might have a microcosm of zoological behavior happening right now in my apartment.

THE CAT: is very jealous of the dog. the dog gets to go outside. the cat meows resentfully.

THE DOG: is timid in his whoreish attention-seeking. yes, he is a coddled specimen, but he seems to be aware that his needy needs will not be met here. this is the cat's territory, and she will defend it to the death.

THE CAT: wants to eat the dog's food and wants to drink the dog's water. she has her own bowls, but they are of no interest to her highness.

THE DOG: is afraid of going near the cat's food and water bowls. she has exerted her dominance and he retreats like a mere pup.

THE CAT: furiously kneads my flesh, purring her best "fuck you, hound."

FIN

science is fun!