an open letter to proposition 8

dear prop 8,

let's face it: you've gotten a bad rap. a lot of people in the media, in the privacy of their own homes and in the vast expanses of the interweb have been giving you a pretty hard time these days. your name has become synonymous with hate (or is it h8?), you've spurred protest rallies across the nation, and celebrities are coming out of the woodwork to publicly berate you as an antiquated, evil right-wing institution of fear of "the other." in light of all this, i can sense that your ego is probably a little bruised, and i'm certain you expect yet another "crazy lesbian blogger" to unleash a shitstorm of ANGRY on you.

not so.

i'd like to take a moment out of my day to say THANK YOU to proposition 8. THANK YOU for passing in november against the backdrop of a historical election that proved the vast majority of americans are down with having a black man in the oval office, while in certain california communities, longtime "roommates" lisa and linda better keep up the charade and cancel their honeymoon plans on an olivia cruise. THANK YOU for proving to liberal, educated, cosmopolitan americans that discrimination is alive and well in the united states. frankly, we needed the reminder.

while many americans are angry letter-writers when a WAL-MART moves into their town, or furiously ask to speak to the manager at mcdonalds when their big mac has too much mayo, when it comes to larger issues, the vast majority of us tend to be a bit complacent. sure, there are always people fighting for change: activists working a difficult grass-roots movement or holier-than-thou celeb hawking one charity or another, but a lot of us are perfectly content to float along, lost in our daily lives and concerns (did i leave my flat iron on? why is this idiot in front of me driving so slowly? where did i leave my slutty bra?). in these times of smooth sailing, it takes a jarring BUMP/CYCLONE/KICK-IN-THE-ASS to wake us from peaceful reveries of contentedness. that's where you came in, prop 8!

like the bombing of pearl harbor finally spurring america into entering WWII, the secession of the south forcing lincoln into demanding abolition, and britney spears locking herself and her tots in a bathroom FINALLY causing her poppa to seek a 5150 court order (and a lifetime supply of undies), the passage of proposition 8 has forced proponents of gay marriage to take a stand. in these situations, once we finally realize how great of a cost we have to lose, we've got no choice but to DO SOMETHING.

since novemeber, there have been countless demonstrations across the country, which, in turn, have forced the issue into the public eye with increasing ferocity. similarly, several states seem hell-bent on proving that they're more progressive than home-of-the-hippies-and-pot-capital-of-the-world california, and have begun passing legislation that says, "hey! you're gay and you want to get married? come to IOWA!" (seriously, IOWA, where there are more cornfields than citizens *******please note i totally made this fact up and in no way vouch for it's accuracy*******? IOWA is more gay-ok than CA at the moment?). with each day that passes, more and more people becoming involved; we're marching, we're picketing, and we've finally learned that the only way to GET change it to MAKE it happen.

following this week's decision by the CA supreme court to uphold the ban you've instilled, prop 8, my wonderful and amazing girlfriend, rachel maddow, said the following of the protest movements that sparked across the country: "it's a sign of how much more organized and galvanized supporters of gay marriage are now than when proposition 8 passed in novemeber." i couldn't have said it better myself, rach. apparently, all the gay rights movement was lacking before novemeber was a little push. we needed a little reminder that outside of our accepting families and friends, and away from bustling boystowns and lesbo-villes, prejudice persists.

without you, prop 8, it might have taken a lot longer for us to wake up and realize that nobody is going to hand us civil rights on a silver platter. now, thanks in great part to you, change is coming. it won't be immediate, and it won't be easy, but i can promise you one thing, prop 8: next time, we'll be ready, so prepare to die. :)

xoxox

rachel morgan

america's idol

last night, when adam lambert and kris allen stood center stage in front of the tiny orange creature known as ryan seacrest, i couldn't help but set my general air of snobbery aside. i was giddier than a schoolgirl, wracked with nerves, and anxiously awaiting the news that would either leave me squealing with joy or groaning in disappointment.

i was disappointed.

yes, i was/am an adam lambert fan. i mean, seriously, what's not to love about a man who can hit higher notes than mariah, sport more makeup than a 17 year-old slut at prom, and rock out in platform boots so high that i got vertigo just watching him?!?! of course, i also think adam is RIDICULOUSLY talented. like, seriously, SUPERGOOD. i get that some people may find him a little too much to handle, or that his style/sound doesn't really float their boats, but people who flat-out think he sucks are f'n NUTS. (haters: watch this video. and stop being so mean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJYyqzUr6jU)

now lets get to the real meat of this issue (in my world, at least): THE GAYNESS.

i somehow doubt i'm out-scooping people magazine on this one, but adam lambert is gay, y'all. i am the first to admit that i was smitten with the idea of having adam be the first gay american idol (clay aiken does NOT count. it took him like 6 years and 123451324 manhunt scandals to admit the obvious), and part of my idol-ehthusiasm this season was definitely driven by his pretty-freaking-overt-and-out-there sexuality, all while set against the backdrop of our current political and social environment. it's pretty obvious to me (and stay tuned for an upcoming blog on the subject pleasethankyou) that we're on the cusp of a civil rights movement for a new (gay) generation. gay and lesbian issues are hot topics in the media and on capitol hill, our communities are banding together in visible activism, and straight society is waking up to the not-so-novel notion of equality for all. and somehow, last night, with kris and adam standing there while america watched, i couldn't help shake the feeling that i was witnessing a mise-en-scene playing out our nation's latest social drama.

there they stood: kris, the adorable, married (at 23 - eeeeek!!), ministry-leading, average joe dressing, acoustic-y singer/songwriter type; and adam, the satin suit wearing, perfectly coiffed, practically-pissing-glitter glam rocker. having each received millions of votes to reach the finale, it's clear that these are two talented, charismatic guys, both of whom have the support of a dedicated fan base. but what particular demographics make up their respective fan bases? i think it is fair to assume that they're both pretty popular in the "ridiculous and annoyingly obsessed teenage girl" segment. if i were a 16 year-old during this season's AI, i can promise you that i would be walking around telling everyone i was IN LOVE with one or both of them, and that their posters would be plastered all over my walls. but this is where i think things diverge a bit for kris and adam's fans.

at the risk of sounding like every other commentator out there, i think there's a pretty noticeable "god factor" in the works here - as the crux of the issue in both our little TV sing-off and our real life national melodrama. politically, americans are being divided more and more strongly along the lines of religion and its place in our legislation, moral compass and national psyche. socially, this division is fairly obviously applicable to the adam vs. kris singing showdown: kris is the jesus-loving, churchgoing heartthrob whom all good little christian girls want to marry, while (in the eyes of the religious right, at least) adam is the drag-dressing, boy-kissing, hit-us-over-the-head-with-the-gay sexual deviant hell bent on destroying the sanctity of the right to get a divorce (or marriage, however you look at it). it's a pretty logical conclusion that those who fall on the more conservative, christian side of the fence miiiight not be not be such big adam lambert fans, and might, by default, vote for kris.

now, before you get your panties in a twist, i'd like to clairfy two things:

1. kris is talented, appealing, and uber marketable (which is what AI is all about, really), and i do not mean to belittle his accomplishments. GO KRIS! strum your little heart out, you adorable, silly-face-making boy!

2. i am, in no way, implying that a vote for kris = a vote for homophobia, or that disliking adam makes you a right-wing nutjob whose vernacular consists primarily of phrases like "commie-loving bastard" and "get your faggy ass away from that ricky martin poster, boy."

however, the fact remains that (in my opinion, at least, yo!) adam's talent eclipses kris' by like... a lot. yet somehow, he didn't win. how did this happen? without specific statistical, demographic and geographic breakdowns, it is difficult to pinpoint... but i don't think it's much of a stretch to attribute a portion of kris' votes to viewers who simply don't like adam for being gay. it's the sad truth about the world we live in, kids. BUT this isn't all doom and gloom! as i mentioned before (and will say again and again and again...), the times, they are a' changin'. i DO believe that americans are changing the way they look at the gay community; i DO believe that many, many, many voters cast their ballots regardless of sexual orientation or religious beliefs; and i DO believe that if americans were really that homo-hating, adam wouldn't have made it this far in the first place.

having said allllllll of that (believe me, i could go on, but i'm worried i've already scared off anyone reading this, cuz, seriously, i'm verbose), i'm committed to remaining a big fan of adam lambert's. he's undeniably talented, but, more importantly, he's never flinched in being himself. he is who he is, and he's ok with that - even on a national stage. and it looks like many americans are down with the glambert, too!!! so i say: "work it out, sister," to adam, and "yay we don't totally suck, USA!"

type-casting

most people i know (gay, straight, bi, confused, horny, virgins, sluts, whatever) have a "type." this is not a bad thing. in fact, i think having a "type" is a handy dating tool, allowing you to instantly reject a portion of the population that doesn't do it for you (not in a superficial, "i don't like ugly people" sort of way (although, lets face it; nobody wants to plant their flag in the realm of fugdom), but in a responsible manner that says, "hey, i'm an adult and i know what i'm into.").

in the lesbian community, having a "type" goes beyond physical attributes like height, hair color or ethnic background. of course, those things ARE important (trust me, you'll never catch me dating anyone shorter than i am. which is, i suppose somehow rudely self-loathing, as i am not particularly easy to find in any sort of crowd myself), but what is often most important is the lesbian "mold" into which a potential mate fits. i like to call this the LESBIAN LADDER OF LOVE, wherein lesbians who identify with a certain subsection of the community fit on rungs based upon some of the most common "types" of lesbians. lets face it, you've heard of them: femme, butch, tomboi, stone butch, lipstick lesbian, power lesbian, dyke, womyn, genderqueer, andro, etc etc. essentially, each of these labels describes a specific "type" of lesbian whose categorization is dependant on the level (or lack thereof) of her femininity, as well as the ways in which her femininity shapes her personality, behavior, style, and, of course, dating preferences.

this is where things get interesting. some lesbians are only attracted to ONE specific type of woman; others are more flexible in their self-created pairings. allegedly, some lesbians are even able to fall in love with the PERSON, rather than the type (i don't buy this and it sounds like total BS to me, but whatever). so what dictates our types? it is certainly more complicated than "femme + butch = lesbian love," but it is, in my opinion, undeniable that there is a level of socialized gender identity inherent to many lesbian pairings.

personally, i would never date a woman whose femininity even comes close to rivaling my own. at the risk of sounding like a total bitchy princess.... i'm a total bitchy princess, and if anyone's going to be a girly girl in my relationship, it's going to be me. this is not to say that i expect my mate to adhere to ridiculous antiquated gender roles and be the breadwinner, force me to watch football on the weekends and, like, stand up when i leave the table. similarly, as pink-obsessed, short skirt-wearing, and eyeliner-enamored as i am, i'm no delicate flower who is incapable of putting together IKEA furniture (it may take me twice as long and i may mess up every 30 seconds and have to backtrack, but I CAN DO IT!) or afraid of playing football in the mud.

having said that, i do see myself falling into a traditionally feminine pattern when it comes to relationships (friendship or sexual). and while i'm the one standing on a chair freaking out over a spider, my B.O.T.M. (bitch of the moment (although it looks like it says "bottom," which is a whole other story entirely.)) is there to kill it, my chivalrous knight in shining armor, kleenex in hand. unsurprisingly, i'm sure, after this explanation in my personal dating preferences (seriously, this is not a personal ad or a desperate attempt at self-congratulation. however, i am awesome and single), i tend to prefer hot babes who are a little more on the butch-y side (two things: 1. exes reading this: don't argue; you know its true 2. see this love letter to rachel maddow and you might get the picture) of the LESBIAN LADDER OF LOVE.

i tend to not stray far in my "type," and, frankly, neither do most of my friends. whether its the waify model type in the corner or the curvy brunette at the bar, it's never difficult to be out at a bar, see a girl and say, "so-and-so would think she's cute" (and then immediately text so-and-so and tell her to come because i've found a new B.O.T.M. for her). this is where wardrobe comes in, acting as a signifier in determining where a P.B.O.T.M (potential bitch of the moment) sits on the LESBIAN LADDER OF LOVE. in a dress? femme. ass-kicking boots? butch. mullet? run away. dressing the part for your particular lesbian role is important, and picking up on a P.B.O.T.M.'s style and the way that it relates to her lesbian identity is equally important in determining whether or not someone is our "type."

without this nonverbal code, we might be lost. in fact, if we lived in a futuristic society wherein everyone dressed identically and individuality was punishable by death via mosquito zapper, lesbian dating would suck. you'd meet, you'd make out, elope and be on your honeymoon before you're both shrieking on a chair, wondering "who's gonna kill the spider?"

dear rachel, i love you. love, rachel.

i'm not so good at hiding it if/when i like someone. in elementary school, i told josh w that he was my boyfriend, without his consent or any actual corroboration on his part. in high school, when i decided that nick carter and i were DESTINED TO BE, i plastered his face all over my walls and forced my friends to learn important facts like a) nick's favorite food is macaroni and cheese, and b) nick's favorite color is green (actually, i've thankfully erased that info from my brain, so BSB fans, don't take my word for it). then, a few years back, i became obsessed with tegan of tegan and sara, and decided that it was appropriate to answer every question with something tegan-related at our monthly game nights. soooo i've been known to obsess a bit.

but this time it's different. i am LEGIT in love. i'm not playing any childish games, harboring any silly crushes or daydreaming about some half-wit i'd probably want to punch in the face if i met. i've finally discovered my soul mate....

i want to marry rachel maddow. i want to meet her, steal her from her partner of 10 years, make her fall in love with me, get a dog, pop out some babies and live happily ever after with rachel maddow. seriously. i want to get rachel and rachel monogrammed bath towels. i want to take her last name and go by rachel morgan maddow. i want to starch the collars on her shirts. i want to wake up at the crack of dawn and walk the dog while she reads the morning news and thinks of witty and insightful commentary. i want to tuck her into bed when she falls asleep reading and her glasses start to slide off the end of her nose. i want to throw fabulous dinner parties together and wow our friends with my charm and delicious food while maddow whips up a batch of dry martinis (i'll take mine dirty, thanks, honey) and explains the importance of the upcoming nigerian elections. sigh... there's a lifetime of wants when it comes to maddow.

in order to win her over, i've decided to return to the classic courting device known as a love letter. were this not electronic, i'd spray it with perfume and send it to her via carrier pigeon, but since this is 2009, i'll have to just blog it and pray that it someday meets her eyes. sigh. here goes nothing.

dear maddow,

hi, how are you? you looked adorable last night. i really liked that bit you did about the TRAKKIES (and you look ridiculously cute in that hat, FYI). listen, you don't know me, but i just wanted to let you know that i love you. and not in the way that i love pear jelly bellys, or in the way that i love harry potter, or even the way that i love my many, many bffs (because i'm soooo popular that it's difficult to pick just one, rach). no, maddow, i am IN love with you. wow. i can't believe i put myself out there like that! i feel so vulnerable. so... naked.

i've got a great rack, maddow.

being the incredible, unbelievably smart, perfectly composed and insanely attractive woman you are, i'm certain you have your fair share of suitors. all i'm asking is that you give me a chance. i may not be a rhodes scholar, but i'm certainly no dunce, dear. i can't pretend that i'll add a lot to our conversations regarding the democratic senator from north dakota's voting record on the war in iraq, but i think you might be interested in what i have to say about britney spears' recent tour, and how that reflects americans' support for the underdog and love of a comeback kid. i think we'd actually be a good match; you could talk about foreign policy, and when things get too intense, i'll offer a little comic relief with a re-telling of how i earned quite a studious reputation on my first day of law school when i announced to my entire section, "i don't like going to class."

i don't mean to imply that you and i have no common ground, maddow. observe: you're a self-proclaimed nerd; so am i! you're into maps; a secret pastime of mine is stalking people on google street view! you're a cocktail enthusiast; um HELLO, i write for a wine and spirits magazine! you got your start in radio; i'm a burgeoning radio starlet! if these facts don't add up to compatibility, i don't know what will, rach.

i'm afraid i've said too much, darling. i guess the point it: i love you...... and i want to be on you.

i want to be on you.

love,

rachel morgan maddow

you think you're pretty special, dontcha?

it's no small secret that i was never one of those L word watching lesbians. ok, ok... that's a lie. i definitely watched the show, pursuant only to lesbian code 764C, wherein all lesbians are required by law to watch the only all lesbo, all the time (except for kit and her lame manny plot line) show on television. but being the huge TV snob that i am (seriously, i have like RULES as to which television shows i find worthy and which i consider "for the masses" and therefore beneath me), the L word was never my cuppa tea. having said all of that, i'm going to launch into an exploration of a lesbian phenomenon that i'd like to call...

SHANE SYNDROME.

for those of you who don't watch the show (aka the 4 straight people reading this), shane is the L word's resident lothario. she's hot, she's lanky, and apparently she smells like sex on a stick, because everywhere this chick goes, babes are falling all over themselves to get a piece. shane is even so hot that in one episode, she causes major family drama when she sleeps with a bride on her wedding day... and her two sisters/bridesmaids... and her mother (this episode, while terrible and ridiculous, looked like a television masterpiece when compared to the badness that ilene chaiken and co. threw at us season 6). as you might imagine, having this magical ability to attract women has gone to shane's head. she's an incurable cheater, she's constantly avoiding women she's used and abused, and she thinks everyone wants to take a ride on the shane-train.

she thinks she's hot shit.

enter SHANE SYNDROME. for some reason, lesbians have a tendency to enjoy a period in their lives wherein they revel in their own hotness, and in many shane-esque ways, decide that they're such a hot commodity that they can do whomever and whatever they want. SHANE SYNDROME is an ongoing epidemic in our community. here are the symptoms to watch for:

• the shane-over: bye bye, basketball shorts. peace out, slicked back ponytail. so long, cargo pants. the shane-over is the first indicator that a lesbian is on her way to thinking her shit doesn't stink. she ditches the trappings of "regular" lesbians, and begins to dress in a manner fitting of her self-perceived sexual prowess. in today's "are you a hipster? no, i'm just a lesbian" scene, this means wearing plaid, cool hats, funky shoes, and rocking a badass short dykecut. as lesbians revamp their wardrobe, they're suddenly transformed, and enter into the second stage of self-congratulatory shaneness...
  
• girlfriend? who?: little lezzie A has recently given herself a cute new look. she's rocking some great style, and, suddenly, girls who would have never given her the time of day are taking a second and third glance. the only problem? little lezzie A has been dating little lezzie B for a few years/months/whatever. but NOW, LL B is keeping LL A from "tasting the lesbian rainbow," so to speak. how is LL A supposed to get out there and mack on chicks like a 14 year old boy at summer camp with LL B being so suffocatingly present? enter step three...


• play on, playette: naturally, LL A has kicked LL B to the curb (hopefully for LL B, before LL A has cheated, which is dependant on the severity of LL A's SHANE SYNDROME). citing reasons like "i love you but i need space" or some other such BS, LL A is single and ready to mingle. with a hot look and newly discovered freedom, LL A proceeds to spread her seed all over town, making out with anything and everything with boobs. other girls may think she's hot, but LL A KNOWS she's hot... and can't be bothered with things like "feelings" when there's an endless stream of girls just begging to be taken advantage of. by now, LL A has come down with a full on case of SHANE SYNDROME.
  

i've witnessed this cycle countless times, with many friends/acquaintances/frenemies/exes/friends-of-friends, and i've hypothesized that SHANE SYNDROME is part of the coming out process. as we begin to explore and understand our sexuality, in many ways, we're also constantly coming to terms with who we are and who we want to be. we abandon societal "rules" about what makes a woman a woman, and we pave our own path about what it means to be a sexual being. along with this self-discovery and acceptance, comes a newfound freedom and realization that being a lesbian can be fun! we're no longer relegated to traditional sexual roles wherein only men are allowed to be virile, vag-chasing egomaniacs, and we realize, "HEY! i can do whatever i want! i am hot shit!"

this is not a bad thing. nothing is sexier than a healthy dose of self-confidence (heck, i'll even take a hint of cockiness, personally). the problem that i've seen over and over is that many lesbians, once struck with SHANE SYNDROME, get so wrapped up in their own hotness that they lose sight of the reality that, while they may be attractive, enjoyable and likable, they are not, in fact, god's gift to earth. that's your friend's gf you just made out with? eh. you can't be bothered to care that lying and cheating might hurt someone else? pish posh. you're HOT and can do whatever you want!

of course, most lesbians come to the understanding that they're not infallible goddesses at some point in their lives, usually with the help of a good woman who can keep their errant ways in check, or by being out-shaned by somebody with an even more ill-conceived sense of self worth. nonetheless, there are plenty of shanes still roaming around. to them, i can only say this:

stop being such a douchebag.

xx,

rachel morgan

LILO AND SAMRO: inside a lesbian breakup, or seriously, lesbians are crazy.

***DISCLAIMER: dear heteros, please do not read this blog as any attempt to diminish the difficulty that i'm sure accompanies "opposite marriage(relationship)" (thanks, miss CA) breakups. all i'm trying to do is explain that when it comes to breaking up, nobody does it crazier than lesbians.***

there's been much ballyhoo in the media recently surrounding poor lindsay lohan's weight, drinking/drugging and feeling "SO ALONE" following her very public breakup with samantha ronson. there's also a seemingly endless stream of speculation spilling all over the place, as commentators and bloggers ask, "ARE LINDSAY AND SAM GETTING BACK TOGETHER?" listen, people. the thing you're not realizing here is that this is a LESBIAN BREAKUP, and therefore none of the "standard rules" apply.

seriously. are you a lesbian? have you had a lesbian breakup? is it not the most ridiculously F'd up thing ever? i'm assuming that all you sapphic ladies out there answered yes to all three questions, and probably know exactly what i mean and where i'm going with this, so straighties, hold on for an explanation:

why lesbian breakups are fraught with drama and take FOREVER to go through:

1. women are crazy. i think most men would agree with this statement, and every lesbian i know agrees with this statement, so lets assume its true. women, as wonderful as we are, are inherently nutsodramatic. there's always something we're pissed about, we'll never tell you what it is or why we're pissed, we spend hours and hours over analyzing and replaying the minute details of even the most mundane conversations, we're constantly convinced you're thinking something but not telling us, and all of that is just the tip of the iceberg. ok, so 1 chick = crazy, so 1 chick + 1 chick = DOUBLE THE CRAZY, and when crazy comes to the breakup party, things have a tendency to get ugly.

2. circle of friends. like many cultural subsections, lesbians tend to flock towards other lesbians and amass their own little lesbian clique. its fun! we drink together, go on adventures together, dance together, play sports together, sometimes make out with/sleep with each other (which is not at ALL dramatic), all while in a group that usually consists of at least 1 former couple now trying to be "friends." so lets say your name is sappho, and you've been dating billie jean king for about a year. although you each have your own friends, there has definitely been some friend-mingling, and you've become part of what, in some cultures, is known as a "dyketribe." what happens when you and billie jean break things off? who takes whose side? how do you all manage to be friends afterward without a ridiculous amount of drama? and, good lord, what does sappho do when her friend/ex begins dating again? even worse, what does sappho do when billie jean starts hooking up with one of their fellow tribeswomen? OMG HEAD EXPLODES. seriously, people, this sort of insane jr. high schoolish drama happens on the reg to responsible adult lesbians, and let me assure you of this... it has a tendency to get ugly.

3. TTYN EXBFF. one of the most difficult things about lesbian breakups is that when you break up, you're not only losing your lover; you're also losing your best friend (and frequently roommate, thanks to lesbian rule #1, which is "move in together immediately after you make out for the first time."). now now - don't all you heteros get your panties and man-panties in a bunch - i know that your exes were probably your best friend too, but, for some reason, the BFF quotient is exponentially higher when you're dealing with two women. straightladies, think about it - you and your BFF have a totally different sort of close friendship than you do with your BOYF, and heterodudes, you know that your bromances are nothing like your friendships with your special babes. ANYWAY, what i'm trying to get at is that two women, regardless of whether or not they're sleeping together, can form a very close bond/friendship that they could only find in another woman. now add in a little sexytime to that sort of friendship, and believe me... when it all comes crashing town, it has a tendency to get ugly.

4. "but we're still BFFs!" i think this is one area in which lesbians and sane people (aka straight people) tend to diverge pretty sharply on the breakup scale. SANE people, when going through a breakup, realize that time apart, not talking, not sleeping together and not convincing yourself that you're immediately ok with being "just friends" are important parts of the healing process. lesbians, however, due to reasons 1-3 on this list, think its a good idea to keep living together, partying together, talking to each other and being "just friends" immediately post-breakup. oftentimes, we know that these are not "good" or "healthy" things to do, but we do them anyway, coming up with a variety of excuses as to why we must continue daily communication with our immediate exes ("the bitch has my favorite pants still" (because sharing closets is pretty high on the lesbian perk list); "but she's my best friend" (honey, she may have been your bff while banging, but things will never be the same again); "we're both over it and can handle it" (you may be "over it" while you're remembering how pissed you are at her for cheating on you, but you won't be over it when you see her and her new gf making out two seconds after you break up, i promise)). cutting off all communication after a lesbian breakup is hard; in fact, i only have one friend who has done it (YAY! so proud!). the rest of us try to be friends... and it has a tendency to get ugly.

so there you have it. 4 reasons lesbian breakups are insanely difficult/dramatic/crazy/idiotic/never-ending affairs. i'm sure i could come up with a variety of other reasons, but i've got to get back to the topic at hand: LILO - SAMRO = BAD LESBIAN BREAKUP IN THE PUBLIC EYE. yikes. that's some pretty bad shit right there.

so, readers, the next time you catch a pic of linds looking extra-skeletor-y, or sam looking a tad more sullen than usual, give the girls a break. things are getting ugly.