WARNING: fasion crisis on the horizon

unless you live some miserable life in a third-world-country-sweatshop where the luxury of a car is reserved for the chrisitan missionaries who drive into your small, shithole village, throw some bibles at you in an attempt to "save your soul," and then merrily whistle off to a three course meal prepared in their charming hotel, you know that gas is freakin' ex-pen-sive-o these days. in fact, today, gas is 95 CENTS PER GALLON MORE EXPENSIVE than it was a year ago. that's a dollar per gallon, kids. that means that in 2007, you could fill up your car with gas, and still buy like a totally adorable forever 21 top (made by the aforementioned third world country resident, of course)... but in 2008, you can only get the gas. MAJOR SADFACE. i love cheap, disposable sweatshop-made clothes!

now that our nation is also facing THE GREATEST ECONOMIC CRISIS IN MODERN HISTORY (cheery sounding, isn't it?), things are just gonna get worse, y'all. sure, mommies will struggle to put delish and nutritious meals on their families' tables, companies will have massive lay-offs, and people will continue to lose their homes.... but more importantly, how the heck am i supposed to buy cute new clothes!??!?! this just, like, totally SUCKS! thankfully, i have some pretty adorable frocks that i can continue to bust out for the time being (some people, no doubt, are already missing the cute-outfit boat, instead choosing overly-trendy tops, tacky earrings, and like high-waisted jeans or something), but if this economic trend continues, we, the once-glamorous and fashionable citizens of the unites states, will soon look TERRIBLE.

i feel compelled to call upon our nation's leaders: this BAILOUT can only go so far. sure, it's supposed to save wall street and ease the mortgage crisis, but, ladies and gentlemen of congress, who's going to put cash back in our pockets so we can buy cute plaid skirts that are looking soooooo adorable this fall??? what if this backfires???? will we all be forced to shop at goodwill, and not just for soft vintage tees, but also for like jeans (ew!) and shoes (ew-yuck-disgusting!)??? will i be forced to purchase poly-blend cardigans rather than my fabrics of choice (when it comes to sweaters, at least), cashmere and merino wool??? will i have to refrain from buying yet another black dress and continue to wear one of the 7 i currently own??? OMG and don't even get me started on managing to pay for haircuts/makeup/manipedis amidst this economic meltdown!!!!

this is not a flippant issue, people! sure, it's important to ensure our economy re-stabilizes so we can all live and eat and have jobs and houses and whatnot, but we are on the verge of looking like freaking polish peasants here! it might have been ok for my bubbie to wear a bubushka and quilted skirt whilst walking across russia in like 1920 (or something like that. my family history is a little fuzzy at the moment), but it is NOT ok for her great-granddaughter to look like an impoverished (yet adorable, i'm sure) nymph, listlessly longing for a new pair of jeans! FIX THE ECONOMY, PLEASEEEE!

i've never claimed to be an expert at economics, people. but i know it's bad (i read huffpo, yo), and i know the consequences will be serious. your primary concern may not be FASHION, but it's something worth thinking about, k? this has been a public service announcement from the office of sparkle. xoxox.

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