i've been a bad, bad girl...

yes, it's true. rachel morgan, the once bravely committed blogger, seems to have fallen to the wayside. in her place, you may find a delightful young lady whose attentions have apparently drifted elsewhere (according to the sparkleize dictionary, "elsewhere" is defined as: i've been super busy doing the following in the past month or so: being sick, being busy with work, playing in san francisco, perfecting the girly knee pushup, educating myself with television, and, of course, having celebrity sightings (ryan philippe and his slutwhore gf abby cornish, whut whhuuuuttt?!)).

ANYWAY, the endless complaints from my devoted readers have finally shamed me into making a return to the world of blogging, and i promise that i shall be more attentive in the future. it's summer, k?! LAY OFF OF ME!

moving on. the topic of today's discussion is simple:

yes, peeps; i'm talkin about dinosaurs here. why, you might ask? WHY NOT?! i feel like, far too often, adults get caught up in the day-to-day of their lives, rather than taking a moment to stop and think about the WORLD around us. and by that, i don't mean wondering how many starbucks are within a 5 mile radius of you at all times (um i'm like practically sitting on a latte every time i leave my house, you know!??). rather, i mean: when was the last time you walked outside, looked at a tree, and imagined seeing the long graceful neck of a brontosarus gently pluck some leaves from the tallest trees? how often do you walk through a park, hear a rustle in the bushes, and instantly fear that a ferocious velocoraptor was hiding in there ready to tear you to shreds and squeeze your heart with his gigantic talons, enjoying watching the blood squirt from every aorta?!?! not nearly often enough, i say.

i mean, lets face it: if dinosaurs were still around today, i'm pretty sure humans would be living in a different world (i can only qualify my certainty as being "pretty sure," because, as a scientist, i am bound to prove my hypothesis, which is like totally hard to do these days without any dinos around). we would either be cave people cowering in fear of constantly impending doom, or we would be the DINOMASTERS, and we'd ride on dinos all over the place!!! or dead. now that i think about it, i realize that adorable and soft as we are, humans might be just a tad bit.... squishy crunchy and compactible (?) to survive the DINO-VASION.

SOOOO, lets all be really thankful that aliens came to earth and massacred all of the dinosaurs like 586 trillion years ago. if it weren't for our alien saviours, the earth would totally suck because those fat f***ers (i feel a sudden need to be polite and curse less. don't worry, it will pass) would be trampling all over the place, squashing malls, crushing bridges, and eating really amazing people, like... me. or maybe my cat. :(


PS: please forgive my total laziness. i've been chastised, yelled at, pestered, and guilted into a total sense of shame. but i promise to be better now :) VIVA LA SPARKLEIZE!

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