forever is a long time
at a recent dinner out with my mother, while discussing my friend's relationship, momma b encouraged my friend to not rush into marriage with her boyfriend of four years because, "forever is a long time." she continued to explain that she met poppa b when she was 18, and they've been together for the past 35 years (i'll save you the effort of getting the calculator. she's 53. she'll also love that i just told everyone how old she is. that's right, mom. oh, and you said you were telling all your friends to read my blog! they all know how old you are now! oops!! see you next tuesday!).
momma b continued to explain that when faced with the prospect of spending the next 35 years of her life with my dearest poppa b, "forever" is just far too long. well, as you may imagine, i didn't like the sound of that one bit. doesn't she know that she and poppa b are stuck together for the rest of their lives? they're my parents, and they're forced to be in love, damnit! but as crazy as momma b's comments about her future with poppa b were, she did have a point. forever is a long freakin' time.
so with no end in sight for eternity, why is everyone in such a rush to sign up for forever these days? why is it that every time i log on to facebook, i see another person i know engaged or married? am i the only one who thinks anyone my age getting married is insane? am i the only one who thinks anyone getting married younger than me must be under the imperius curse and i that i must have suddenly been transported to harry potter world? (in which case i would be in heaven, because then i could join dumbledore's army and help defeat voldemort. rad). am i the only one for whom the thought of committing to a lifetime of, well, commitment, seems a bit drastic? can't you love someone, want to be with someone and live with someone without running to the nearest preacher, shoving a ring on your partner's finger and proudly calling yourselves "mr. and mrs?
call me a naysayer, call me unromantic, call me a murderer of love, but i just don't get what the big rush is. if you've really got forever with this person, would it hurt to wait a few years before getting married? and that's where momma and poppa b got it right. they may have fell in love when they were 18, but they didn't get married until they were 28. they had 10 years together to learn each other's annoying habits, criticize each other's flaws, hate each other, learn to love each other again, and know (not think) that they wanted forever.
and that's when i told momma b that i had the perfect way to keep them together forever. after momma and poppa b both kick the bucket (future R.I.P. mommy and daddy i love and miss you), i will have their bodies cremated together so that their ashes merge and become one. i will then have their ashes mixed into a cement block, which i will drop into the marianas trench, the deepest point in the ocean. now that's forever.