for some reason, women who are cute, have a lot to offer, have big boobs, dress really well, use deodorant, etc..., have no problem dating men who are fat, pigeon-toed, have boils on their faces, constantly reek of gross hairy man smell, and are just all-around unattractive. WHY, ladies, WHY?? sure, he may be a "nice guy," but that doesn't make up for the fact that he gets complimented on his quasimodo costume every halloween even though he's not wearing one and it to him it's just another day being ugly!
the simple truth is that women are typically less concerned with their partner's looks than men are, and that women take other factors into consideration when searching for a partner. i'm sure that this has something to do with evolution (cave women sought men who could kill the biggest mammoth, not men who lounged around the cave all day looking hot and putting sabre tooth tiger jizz in their hair to get optimum spikiness), but ladies, that is some serious BS right there. we should be just as shallow and superficial as men are (lord knows i am. an ugly man with a gimpy arm and a droopy eye once asked me on a date. i spit in his eyeball and kneed him in the balls for his impudence. take that!)!
in order to combat this growing epidemic (even the film industry has capitalized on this trend. now they make movies like knocked up, where a short fat jewish guy bangs and wins the hot tall blonde. ew.), i propose that women raise their standards STAT. it is time that we look in the mirror, recognize our hotness*, and refuse to let whomever we're screwing drag us down. fight the fug! viva la resistance!!!
so, ladies, the next time some turd-faced douche tries to seduce you with "wit," "charm," "intelligence," "money," or "trustworthiness" (lame), throw your drink in his face (glass and all - scars might improve his look) and tell him, "i'm hot. you're not. now get out of my sight, you peasant."
* fugly girls: this does not apply to you. you can date the fugly dudes. xo!