8:15 am - rachel morgan and momma b stumble upon an airport slot machine. rachel morgan walks out up $3. it's all about the max bet on the triple diamond - penny slots, baby!!!
10:27 am - rachel morgan tries her luck again. looses $3 lead.
11:25 am - rachel morgan gets a little big for her britches and plays with a $20. rachel morgan looses $20.
12:00 pm -rachel morgan and momma b have lunch at todd english's olives at the bellagio. yum! they have two drinks each.
2:30 pm - rachel morgan and momma b go shopping. momma b buys them matching lingerie at frederick's of hollywood. rachel morgan wonders when her mom became dinah lohan.
3:00 pm - rachel morgan and momma b wander over to the wynn. they stop at the first bar they see and each order a drink. momma b's champagne is passable, and rachel morgan's pear martini is decent. momma b and rachel morgan are unimpressed, and vow to never step foot in the wynn again. bastards.
3:58 pm - momma b finally lets rachel morgan go into margaritaville. rachel morgan has been looking forward to this all day. they make their way to the bar, but there is only one seat available. like any good daughter would, rachel morgan lets momma b have the seat. they order a margarita and dance to jimmy buffet.
4:10 pm - rachel morgan returns from the restroom to find that the seats next to momma b are empty. when rachel morgan asks where all of the tough-looking guys went, momma b replies, "they were whiney so i beat the shit out of them. now we have their seats."
4:12 pm - rachel morgan and momma b drink a few more margs. they also befriend the fat ugly man sitting next to momma b. his name is ed, and it is his birthday. rachel morgan demands to know where his friends are, though she suspects he doesn't have any.
4:46 pm - ed shows rachel morgan his "official parrothead" business card, and rachel morgan laughs (inside. maybe.) at what a strange old man her new friend ed is. rachel morgan gives ed a birthday kiss (on the check, obv. i have super high standards).
5:19 pm - momma b tells rachel morgan to pace herself for a long night of drinking. rachel morgan responds, "if i wasn't pacing myself i'd be throwing up in the fucking bush right now."
5:30 pm - rachel morgan is in bed for a 30 minute pass out/nap.
6:30 pm - momma b and rachel morgan dine at MIX, a chic new restaurant, and order the pairings menu. that's 4 more drinks each, but rachel morgan makes momma b drink hers, as she's trying to pace herself.
9:30 pm - rachel morgan and momma b hiccup into a cab to go see LOVE at the mirage.
10:00 pm - LOVE begins. momma b begins to cry.
10:00 pm - 11:00 pm - rachel morgan and momma b dance, sing, laugh, cry and cheer throughout LOVE. the people sitting next to them look like braindead zombies and do not even crack a smile. they were NOT fun.
11:15 pm - rachel morgan and momma b weave through the mirage, draped in pink crepe paper that fell from the ceiling at the end of LOVE. momma b keeps ranting about the "boring geezers" next to her, and rachel morgan is thoroughly enjoying pretending to be a jellyfish with the crepe.
11:30 pm - rachel morgan achieves her lifelong dream of partying aboard the cleopatra's barge at caesar's palace. unfortunately, neither rachel morgan nor momma b wanted to party anymore, and the band sucked.
12:15 am - rachel morgan and momma be retire, exhausted after their big vegas adventure!