4.29.2008

top 5 reasons to love hillary clinton (unofficially dedicated to K)

1. that smile... ah, hil-dawg, your smile truly is stunning. with a gesture as simple as a smile, you evoke so many warm fuzzy feelings for me, like happier times when your hottie hubby bill was in office. i remember the days under his governing when gas was cheaper; while we pay nearly $4/gallon here in the 818 today, 10 years ago, gas was free. i was in high school, and my parents paid for it. thanks for nothing, george w.

2. she's a woman... and everyone knows women are superior to men. we're smarter, more fun and popular, and we really know how to get a party started! men, on the other hand, are universally known to be lazy and slothful. who do you want in the white house: a graceful woman with brains and beauty and who can make a mean taco dip, or a doofus man whose knuckles still scrape on the ground and wouldn't know a dessert spoon from a soup spoon if it hit him in the face?

3. she's got boobs! now, be careful here; this is not an extension of the "she's a woman" argument. this point deals with one... err.... two things: boobs. it is a scientific fact that every human being - gay, straight, man, woman, bi, transgender, confused, plain ol' whoreish, whatever - finds boobs very comforting. through countless studies of brain activity, scientists have proven that when we see boobs, receptors in the pleasure and comfort sensors are activiated. if hillary's magic tits aren't the solution to peace in the middle east and ending the genocide in darfur, i'm not sure what is.

4. she used to look like this:
if a woman can go from looking that homely and dorky to running for president of the united states of america, she's got to be something special. if she survived high school without having her head flushed in the toilet, she must be a miracle worker. if she managed to snag a hottie like bill, she must be a wild, witchy woman, cuz he sure didn't fall for her looks. hilly baby, you've gotten super sexy with age, and i definitely think pantsuits are more your look than whatever that paisley monstrosity is. you've come a long way, girl.

5. in all seriousness, people, she's the best person for the job. this country is in dire need of a leader who will wear her passion and commitment to the american people on her sleeve. she's got the experience and strength to help our nation recover from what has been a difficult and often devastating 8 years. she's a woman (ok, so maybe i do find that fact totally in her favor) who has fought for what she believes in all of her life, and while some politicians shout about promising "change," her lifelong footprints reveal a path of change and progress. she is prepared to face the challenges that doubtlessly await her, and i hope to someday proudly call her "mrs. president."
for more information or to make a donation to the hillary clinton campaign, click here: http://hillaryclinton.com/

1 comment:

Katie Garner said...

OMG...I love this post. By far my favorite. I especially agree with your boob statement. HILLZ FOR LIIIIIFE.