style guide 101

well, it is mother's day, so of course, i'm spending some time with momma b today. we went for a wonderful hike this morning (where i got bit on the neck by some mother-freaking bug that probably has poisonous venom that kicks in after 36 hours and will therefore kill me some time on tuesday. ugh! i'm too pretty to die!), and then, like the good daughter i am, i took momma b to lunch.

when i asked her where she wanted to go, momma b said "59th and lex, because no one would go there on mother's day!" now for those of you who aren't acquainted with this fabulous little restaurant, it's the one in bloomingdales, and it's actually quite nice (and it's in the mall, so double yay because nothing makes me happier than eating a salad with goat cheese while inhaling my favorite perfume, eau de retail). obviously, following our delish lunch, momma b and i happily headed towards the beckoning storefronts, eager to rummage through the sale racks looking for a gem of a bargain.

now, momma b, as much as i love her (xoxo, mommy!), has taste in clothes that sommeeeetimes scares me, and occasionally (frequently) causes me to sternly say, "no" and slap her hand away from whatever heinous garment she's admiring. i've tried to explain to her, time and time again, the importance of developing an individual sense of style (to the point where a friend looking at the item on the rack would say "that looks like something momma b would wear." it's true, y'all.). in the past, momma b's sense of style has been slutty shoes (seriously, i think my parents have some sort of kinky foot fetish of sorts. momma b's always on the lookout for shoes that "dad would think are hot." ew.), unflattering jeans, and some old and blah-looking ann taylor t-shirt. these days, momma b is doing a much better job of dressing herself (although she still has some seriously questionable taste at times), and every time we go to the mall, she finds things that are more and more frequently an expression of her personal style.

friends, if my mommy can clean her act up, so can yours. let us no longer be quiet while or mothers go ga-ga for chenille sweaters!! let us boldly tell them no when our mothers wear any trendy thing paris hilton throws on her std-ridden body! we must fight for our mommies until we are satisfied with the wash and cut of their jeans! down with whitewash! stamp out shades that are unflattering to her complexion! we CAN do it! it's time for a change, ladies and gentlemen. it's time to show our mothers, that this mother's day, we care too much to let her look like shit.

happy mother's day, everyone!

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